"you gotta use your kind words"

Controlling my words is something I struggle with in motherhood. When I get irritated because we're running late, or grouchy because the kids are misbehaving, or short tempered because my to-do list is longer than there are hours in the day, I tend to get snippy with my kids (and anyone around me, really). 

I raise my voice, I talk in short, sharp sentences, the frustration and irritation pour out of my voice. 

I'm so hypocritical in this area. I always tell my children:

No whining.

Don't huff at me.

Use kind words.

Speak with a nice tone.

Use a kind voice.

Say please and thank you.

And yet, I fail miserably. I get crabby with my kids. I bark orders at them instead of saying please. I sigh loudly when they don't listen. I don't use a nice tone of voice. 

And the other day, I was gently reminded of this.

Ezra and Selah were on my last nerve. They were both asking for snacks over and over when I was busy doing something, they kept fighting with each other, the screaming wouldn't end. And it was only 8:00 am. Ezra asked to watch Veggie Tales (for the 50th time) so I snapped, "just a minute, Ezra! I will put your show on when I'm done with the dishes!" and growled under my breath.

There wasn't much different that morning than any other morning. The kids are always asking for snacks and yelling and not sharing. But for some reason, that morning, I blew my lid. 

Ezra, my gentle little three year old, looked up at me and said, "Mama, you need to

talk nicely. You gotta use your kind words." And he smiled and ran off. I just wanted to stick my head in the sink full of soapy water at that point. 

Leave it to a 3 year old to remind his mama that what comes out of your mouth matters. I'm always reminding my kids to talk nicely to each other, to use manners and to have a nice tone of voice. When they don't, they get reprimanded. Shouldn't it be the same for me? I'm the adult. I'm the one who should be setting an example for my children. I'm the living example of the gospel that they see all day long. And I was doing a pretty crummy job representing Jesus right then.

I took off my gloves and asked Ezra to join me on the couch. I grabbed his little cheeks in my hands and said, "Mama is sorry. I should have used kind words with you. It's okay for mama to be frustrated, but I still need to speak nicely to you and others. Do you forgive me?" Of course, his tender little heart forgave his imperfect mama. 

Then this morning, he reminded me again. As we were getting ready to head out the door, I said, "Ezra, I'm not going to ask you again to get your shoes on." I must have said it a little crabbily, because he said, "Uh, mama, are you frustrated right now?" with a big cheesy grin on his face. Oh my heart.

Although I wish I could go back and change how I spoke to him, I'm thankful for the lessons of the effect of our words and of forgiveness that he witnessed that day. I'm grateful that God used my little 3 year old boy to remind me to speak life into my children with encouragement and praise, and that even when I'm frustrated, I can control my voice and tone and not come undone. 

"Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift."

Ephesians 4:29

"A soft answers turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Proverbs 15:1

"A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit."

Proverbs 15:4

christ be all around me

I heard this song yesterday by All Sons and Daughters for the first time and I can't stop listening to it.

The chorus says, "Above and below me, before and behind me, in every eye that sees me, Christ be all around me." 

I love that. Christ be all around me. That's my prayer daily! Shouldn't that be what we as Christ followers desire? That Christ would be all around us throughout our day?

The verses say: 

"As I rise, strength of God, go before me, lift me up. As I wake, eyes of God, look upon, be my sight.

As I wait, heart of God, satisfy and sustain. As I hear, voice of God, lead me on, be my guide.

As I go, hand of God, my defense, by my side. And as I rest, breath of God, fall upon, bring me peace."

I prayed these words this morning while I was making breakfast for my family. What a way to start the day! 

Strength of God, go before me.

Heart of God, satisfy.

Voice of God, lead me on.

Hand of God, my defense.

Breath of God, bring me peace.

Powerful.

This is so important to pray over our kids, too, isn't it? I want my kids to hear God's voice, to feel his peace, to know that the God goes before them and gives them strength! 

I want others who look at me to see Christ all around me. Especially my children. I am a living example of the Bible for my kids, who don't know how to read His word yet. I am who they see all day long, who they learn from. They learn how to react, how to pray, how to listen, how to speak, how to work hard, how to obey... from me. And without Christ, I'm a pretty poor example for them.

So I pray that Christ is all around me, giving me strength and peace, being my defense and satisfaction, so that I can raise my children in a way that pleases Him. I pray that my children and family and strangers I don't even know see Christ all around me.

eucharisteo

Right at the beginning of the new year, I read the book "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. If you haven't read this, stop what you're doing and order it. This book has changed the way I live day to day.

The jist of the book is the importance of expressing gratitude to God in everything. Ann Voskamp emphasizes over and over that "thanksgiving precedes the miracle" and she uses several different verses from the Bible to validate this point. 

She talks about the importance of writing down what we are thankful for rather than just thinking it, because just this act can make us a more joyful person. I don't know about you but I definitely want to be more joyful! 

Ann tells stories in the book from her childhood, and tells her journey towards eucharisteo which is basically a Greek word for "thanksgiving", although Ann breaks the word down more than that. Her friend challenged her to write down 1,000 gifts in a journal - 1,000 different, simple, every day things that she was grateful for; gifts God has given her.

This book is truly eye opening to the power of gratitude in one's life and the impact it can make on your attitudes and actions and reactions. The way Ann writes is so beautiful and poetic that I didn't want to put the book down.

Immediately after finishing this book, I started my own journal of 1,000 gifts. I have also made eucharisteo my "word of the year" for 2016 - something I want to strive for and ponder on every day.

I'm only a month into creating my list, but here are some of my 1,000 gifts:

Number 15: free lattes, venti

Number 19: sunrise peeking over snowy roofs

Number 20: at home gel manicures

Number 34: a husband who shovels in early cold

Number 52: fresh baked banana muffins 

Number 61: bible journaling

I hope to reach 1,000 by the end of the year. Why don't you join me? I think you'll be glad you did.

it's orphan Sunday... how can you help?

Today is Orphan Sunday. This is a day in November (National Adoption Month) for Christians to stand up for the orphans, the fatherless, the children with no family. According to the Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO), "On Orphan Sunday, churches across America and beyond celebrate the love of the God who “places the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6) and calls us to do the same. Ultimately, Orphan Sunday seeks to make the Gospel visible as Christians explore and respond to God’s heart for the orphan in adoption, foster care, and global orphan ministry."

To recognize this day, my parents and I wore our adoption shirts to church!

Adoption is an amazing thing. But not everyone is called to welcome an orphan into their family. And that's okay! God has different callings for different families and all of them are important. And what's more important is that you answer the calling God has for you. 

Even though not everyone is called to adopt an orphan, everyone is called to care for the orphans. 

"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans." Isaiah 1:17

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

"For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords... He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow..." Deuteronomy 10:17-18

Caring for the orphans will look different for each person and family. But you do have a part! 

Are you wondering how you can help the orphans? Here are some ideas:

1. Pray for orphans. 

2. Pray for families who are adopting.

3. Give financial support to adoptive families. Of course, I'd love for you to donate to our adoption fund, but any monetary donation to an adoptive family makes a difference! You can be a part of bringing an orphan home. 

4. Sponsor a child. There are children in orphanages who need sponsorship. There are children without families to pay for their food and schooling. There are also children who do have families, but those family members can't afford to pay for their food or schooling, so the children either go hungry and uneducated, or are released to an orphanage even though they aren't truly without families. One organization that I adore is Amazima. Your sponsorship of a child through this ministry will educate and feed them so that their families don't have to relinquish the child due to lack of resources and funds to raise them in their family. There are plenty of other organizations you can sponsor a child through, like Holt International, where your sponsorship can help a child stay in their family, and if that's not possible, find them a loving adoptive family. 

5. Support adoptive/foster families in other ways! Make a meal, offer to babysit, send an encouraging note... there are so many ways to pour out love and support.

I love this image I saw online today.

Like I mentioned, not everyone is called to adopt but everyone is called to do something. Some people are called to foster, some are called to adopt domestically, and some, like us, are called to adopt internationally. Some are called to sponsor a child. Some are called to donate to an adoptive family. Some are called to be prayer warriors for the orphans. How is God calling you to care for His children?

the minivan that almost wasn't.

We got a van! The story is an interesting one so I thought I'd share how God answered our prayers. :)

Before yesterday, I drove a Ford Escape. I love it and it's the perfect size for our family of 4. However, we won't be a family of 4 forever! We needed an upgrade but we knew we wanted to keep our Escape for Marcus. He drove a 2002 Grand Am and it was a miracle that it lasted as long as it did... which it barely scraped by. We had been praying for a new car for him for over a year. It was a tough car for winter because it had no heat (and no A/C in the summer!) plus the driver's side window didn't work, and it needed new tires, plus a long list of other mechanical issues. We were praying we didn't need to put any more money into it before we got rid of it. 

So, we decided to start looking into vans before winter came because we didn't think Marcus' Grand Am would even make it through the first snow fall. Amazingly, we quickly found the perfect minivan at a dealership about an hour away! It was exactly what we wanted and a good price. They had recently lowered the price, so when we called about it, the sales rep we talked to said to come in sooner rather than later. I asked my parents to watch our small humans last night (Thursday) while we went to check it out. We planned on trading the Grand Am in for the minivan, so we needed to drive the Grand Am an hour away to get us to the dealership. I drove the Escape (with the kids' carseats in it) to my parents' house and Marcus followed me with the Grand Am. We dropped the kids off at my mom's at 5:15 and were on our way, leaving the Escape at my parents' and driving the Grand Am to Waukesha.

About 4 minutes into our drive, Marcus said that ever since he added more coolant a few months ago (when his car overheated about 25 minutes away at 7:30 am on a Thursday morning and I had to bring him coolant and then jump his car... that was fun) his car had been acting fine, but all of the sudden, as we were driving and had just left my parents' house, the temperature gauge (I have no idea what the correct terminology is here) was going up higher and higher. And then the car started clunking and making weird sounds. And Marcus said we had to pull over right away. So we got off the highway and pulled over at a restaurant. It was only 5:20 but it was basically pitch black out already. He popped the hood and saw smoke and fluid leaking... never good signs. He had no idea why this was happening because he literally *just* added more coolant before we headed to the dealership (so like, half an hour ago) but it was overheating like it did a few months ago. Not cool! We were getting ready to trade this bad boy in, we couldn't have it die on us! If we couldn't get it to the dealership an hour away, we couldn't trade it in for a van. So what did we do?

We prayed, obviously. I was praying silently the whole time that Marcus was trying to figure out what was going on with the car and then we prayed together before shutting the hood and hopping back in the car. We started it and it was still making funny sounds, so we planned on driving back to my parents' house to get the Escape and drive that to the dealership to look at the van. We were disappointed because if we ended up wanting to buy the van, we'd have nothing to trade for it because we needed to keep our Escape as Marcus' car and his Grand Am wasn't about to get us all the way to the dealership.

As we headed back to my parents' house, the car stopped making weird noises, so just a moment before we turned left to head back to my parents', we went right and decided to try heading to the dealership again. We drove for a couple minutes on the highway and were approaching the restaurant we pulled into the first time (half an hour ago by this point) and the car was staying in the normal temperature range. I kept praying and praying the whole ride there... and by God's grace, we made it all the way to the dealership with no issues! 

I knew that Satan didn't want us to get a van, because that meant one more step towards adopting two children. I always like to do the opposite of what Satan wants. Satan didn't want us to get a van, which means I really wanted a van! Satan hates adoption and he wants orphans to stay orphans. He hates when families are pieced together. Right when things are going well (like we found a van that would fit all 6 of us and it seemed like the perfect fit for us!) is when Satan wants to step in and destroy that plan. He wants to fill you with doubt and put up roadblocks to stop you from getting where you're going. I'm so glad that God is more powerful than the devil and that we made it to the dealership in one piece. We could have let the doubt sink in and given up. We could have just dropped the whole plan of getting a van because we didn't think we could make it there. We could have been grouchy and negative and disappointed instead of trusting God to fulfill His plan. But, we were obedient in praying for God's favor and protection and like always, He proved His faithfulness.

When we got there, we asked for Mark, who is the guy that Marcus talked to on the phone about the van the day prior. He showed us the van and let us test drive it. As he was making casual conversation, he asked us why we needed a van. We told him we had two kids and were in the process of adopting two more kids. He looked at us and said, "do you guys go to church in Janesville?" and we said "yeah, we go to New Life Assembly of God." He replied with, "as soon as you said you were adopting, I knew you had to be Christians! I go to Waukesha First Assembly of God!" Marcus and I exchanged looks with our jaws dropped and said, "you mean Pastor Todd's church? He was the associate pastor at our church until he left to go to Waukesha to be the senior pastor 4 years ago! Small world!" We all talked about how awesome Pastor Todd & Michelle were and Mark told us a little bit of his testimony as we test drove the van. We talked about the new youth pastor at Waukesha First, Tyler, (who also used to go to New Life in Janesville) and how Mark related to his story. We talked about the goodness of God, the heart of Jesus, and how awesome it is to be able to serve. I still can't believe that when Marcus happened to call the dealership on a random Wednesday, that the guy who picked up the phone and ended up selling us our van happened to go to the church that our former associate pastor (and current senior pastor's son-in-law) now is the senior pastor of! Small world!

We test drove the van, talked numbers, got a trade in value for the Grand Am (which wasn't much because like I said, it was falling apart, but it was better than nothing!) and worked everything out. After 3 hours at the dealership and 2 hours of travel, we got to pick up our kids from my parents' house with our new minivan. We're so thrilled, and I feel like an official mom now that I have a "soccer mom van"! ;) 

The stow-and-go seating in the van is great because I am selling a bunch of stuff at a huge church garage sale tomorrow, so I can put the back seats down to fit several bins of baby clothes in the back of the van to haul over to the church tomorrow. Perfect timing! Pray that I sell a lot, because all the money goes towards our adoption fund!

These pictures don't do justice to the amazing Tetris skills of my husband... I have no idea how he fit everything into the van!

Oh and speaking of adoption fund, did I mention we're over 55% FUNDED?! Praise God!

There's still time to buy t-shirts here.

So, that's our little story of how we got our minivan. Once again, Satan tried to step in and destroy our plan and crush our spirits, but God is greater! Just one more thing to prove that this adoption is exactly where God wants us.

Vehicle for 4 children: check!

t-shirt fundraiser!

As another way to raise funds for our adoption, we are doing a t-shirt fundraiser!

These shirts are not your average group t-shirts... they are super soft and comfy and are a cotton/polyester blend. And they are for a good cause! 

To order a shirt, go to this link: https://www.bonfirefunds.com/meiklejohn-adoption

and buy as many as you need in your sizes. Then, once the fund is over, the shirts ship to your door, and we get part of the profits! Easy as that! 

The more shirts we sell, the more profit we get per shirt, so order away! Grab an extra as a Christmas gift for a friend or coworker. ;) 

Thank you for your support in bringing our littles home from Africa!

home study update & Jinja gift shop

This weekend, we had our adoption home study visits! If you haven't read the story about how God worked out this home study so quickly and perfectly, you can read about it here.

Marcus and I were nervous for our home study visits because we hadn't ever done a home study before but things went great!

When I called on October 12th to schedule our home visit and was told I had 12 days to get as many of the 26 separate things checked off our list as possible (preferably all of them) I went into beast mode. Each of the 26 steps required several signatures and included dozens of forms to fill out per step, and we also had to get physicals, fingerprints, background checks, and more. The reason that home studies usually take 3-6 months is because there's so much paper work. Thanks to my type-A get-it-done-now personality, we completed everything just in time for our home visit yesterday (Saturday, October 24th) including 16 hours of adoption education! Boom. We rewarded ourselves with some of our kids' Halloween candy that they got at our church's fall festival. (Don't tell them.)

fingerprints: check

physicals: check

education and all paperwork: check

reward = chocolate & Netflix

And for reference, here's a before and after our faces pre- and post-home study:

In my heart, I knew we'd be approved for our home study because God ordained this whole process and we knew we were called by Him to adopt. But my flesh had doubts and I was nervous.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for us during this time! We were told that there's no reason we won't be approved. Right now we just have to wait for our case worker to get all the papers signed, organized & notarized.

As far as our home visits the past two days, everything went perfectly and our case worker was very impressed with how fast we got all our forms done and how organized we were. She also loved the story of how our international adoption process came to be, and she was very interested in our love story. We were able to witness to her about why we thought our marriage would last when about half of marriages fail (this was one of the interview questions she asked us) and we had a chance to share our faith, how involved we are in our church, and the ministries we participate and volunteer in. She loved listening to how God has orchestrated everything in our lives. We are so thankful that He is using us for His glory!

We also told our case worker about a shop here in Janesville that we just discovered ourselves. It's called Jinja Fair Trade Gift Shop and it's just a couple of minutes down the road from us! We heard about this store in our local newspaper last weekend and just had to check it out. It's a fair trade shop, and the items for sale in it were handmade in Uganda (mostly in Jinja, Uganda) and the profits from the sales of these items goes right back to Uganda to help their organization which is called the Hope Institute of Uganda. They provide education, health care, and economic opportunities for young men and women in Uganda. The Jijna Gift Shop has been in our town for a few years and somehow we never knew about it, but it just happened to be featured in our newspaper right around the time when we decided to adopt from Uganda! How cool is that?

Marcus and I checked out this shop on Friday, and we told our case worker about it, and she went after our visit on Saturday to look around. While we were there on Friday, we were able to talk to the owner (who is from Uganda himself) about our plans to adopt from there. He gave us some travel tips and information. The kids got to play some Ugandan instruments, hear some African music and play with some handmade toys.

We ended up buying Ezra a cool metal car, and we got Selah a big doll that had a baby doll tied on the back (yay for babywearing!) and I got a keychain and a bracelet.

So awesome that this Jinja shop has basically been in our backyard all this time!

Our next step is to wait for our home study to be approved. In the meantime, we need to file our I-600A (which is a bunch more paperwork!) and then do more fingerprinting, and wait for approval for that which will state that we are approved to adopt internationally. From there, we assemble our dossier, which is all the paperwork and files that we send to Uganda. 

So, I see a lot more paperwork in our future, and also a lot of waiting! The I-600A approval can take 8-12 weeks. We are praying that things move faster than that, which has been how our whole process has been working so far! We know that God will ensure the perfect timing of it all.

Thank you again for all your prayers! We need continued prayers that things move quickly, that there are no delays or huge hurdles to jump, and that God continues to show favor and have His hand in it all.

a piece of our adoption puzzle

I've posted this on Facebook already, but in case you missed it...

Many people have already asked us how they can help financially on our adoption journey. International adoption is expensive, y'all. There are several reasons that we are pursuing international adoption over domestic adoption, but that's a post for a later date. We don't love asking for money, but we realize that this is much more than that; we are asking you to be a part of our journey, and a part of our children's stories!

So to help us with the funds, we are doing a PUZZLE FUNDRAISER! 

Here's how it works:

1. We bought a custom 252-piece puzzle with our adoption design on it! We are "selling" each piece.

2. To "buy" a piece, go to our You Caring page and make a donation of any amount that you choose. Here's the link: click here

(There's a button on the top of the blog for donations as well!)

*You can also donate in person! You'll notice our "goal" is $40,000. We don't expect to get $40,000 in donations right on our fundraising website, but that's our estimate of costs. We plan on doing other fun fundraisers to reach our goal!

3. Once you "purchase" a piece, we will write your name on a puzzle piece, take a picture of it, and upload it to a puzzle fundraiser album on Facebook.

4. Once all the pieces are "sold", we will assemble the puzzle and put it in a double sided glass frame for our children to see.

How cool will it be to show our future children the names of all the people who loved them and supported us/helped us bring them home before they even knew them?

*If you make an anonymous donation on our You Caring page, I will write "anonymous" on that puzzle piece unless you contact me to let me know that you'd like your family name on it.

*All donations go directly into a separate adoption savings account. We've already had to pay thousands in fees so far, so any donation at this time helps!

We will be having more fundraisers in the coming weeks and months including a yard sale, pancake fundraiser, and t-shirt fundraiser, but for now, this is a general place for you to donate. 

Thank you for having a "piece" in the journey that God has called us to!

if I didn't know Jesus...

If I didn't know Jesus, I would have a mind full of anxiety and fear.

I would worry always, constantly be on edge, and feel nauseous over the fact that I couldn't see the future.

If I didn't know Jesus, I would be have a heart full of bitterness and anger.

I would be slow to forgive, quick to anger, quick to speak, slow to listen.

I would hold grudges, be merciless and full of hate, and react with a heart of vengeance. 

If I didn't know Jesus, I would feel lost and alone.

I would often find myself feeling empty, I would question my existence.

I wouldn't know where to go or what to do.

If I didn't know Jesus, I would feel insecure and like a failure.

I would over analyze every decision I made, question my intelligence, and feel unworthy.

I would speak negativity over my life, believe I had no value, and think that I was unimportant.

If I didn't know Jesus, depression would swallow me whole.

I would feel dark, empty, worthless, annoying, stupid and pointless.

I would feel shallow, sad, quiet, anxious, down, heavy and disappointed.

If I didn't know Jesus, I would be doomed to eternity without Him.

Lost, alone, hopeless, burning in the darkness of Hell forever.

But because I know Jesus...

I feel joy. Not always happiness, but a joy that comes from the Lord.

I feel peace. God knows my future, so I don't have to.

I feel secure. God has already won my battles.

I feel important. God made me for a purpose.

I feel beautiful. God made me in His image.

I feel loved. I know that I'm never alone and that Jesus died for me.

I feel valued. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I feel uplifted. He is the rock on which I stand.

I feel patient. He gives me the fruit of the Spirit.

I have no fear. I will fear no evil; He has given me a spirit of peace.

I AM secure, important, beautiful, loved, valued... because He has made me this way and given me these gifts.

Because I know Jesus, I will not perish, but have eternal life in Heaven with Him.

Do you know Jesus?

perfect provision - an adoption update

I am just in awe of God's provision, wisdom, and direct, specific, immediate answers to prayer!

Let me share with you.

Three days ago, I blogged about how God had answered our prayers and we had found a placement agency! The reason I write down the specific details of everything is mostly so that I can look back some day and see how God was right in the middle of everything, making a way and answering prayers. I also write it all down because I believe God will use our adoption journey as a powerful testimony of His love for His children, His will being worked out in the lives of those who love Him, and to hopefully encourage others and lead them to the Lord.

In that blog post, I asked for more prayers, specifically that we would find a home study agency in our state that met all the qualifications we needed for an agency, and quickly. That was on a weekend day, so I knew I had to sit patiently and wait until Monday to make some phone calls to home study agencies. 

Monday came around and as soon as 8:00 AM hit, I called some home study agencies. I left messages at a couple places, got a "disconnected line" message at another place, and talked to someone for a good five minutes at another place, until she told me they don't even work with international adoptions, so that was a waste of a phone call. I had called all the places I had down to call, so I put my phone down and prayed.

Just half an hour later, I got a call back from a home study agency less than two hours away from us. I asked her all the questions I had, and her agency met all the requirements we needed for an agency and she told me she wanted to come start our home study in less than two weeks! She said after her home visits with us, should could have our home study completed and turned around in two weeks. !!! Home studies are usually a 3-6 month process, people! I was shaking so hard with excitement that I could barely hold the phone up to my ear! She gave me all the info I needed, told me what to print and fill out and mail to her, and what to do next. We already have our first two home visits set up and scheduled (for 11 and 12 days from now!) and we have our list of other paperwork we need filled out, copied, signed, checked off, etc.

It's a bit overwhelming! Last night, I stayed up until past midnight (which I never do - I'm usually out like a light by 9:30 pm!) and filled out all the paper work that I possibly could on our list of 30+ items to get completed. When I have something to get done, I want it done yesterday. Some of the forms have to be signed by employers, we have to make copies of all our birth certificates and other documents, we need proof of income and employment, fingerprints and background checks... the list goes on and on!

I didn't think we'd have a problem getting any of the forms filled out by our first home visit on October 24th... until I got to the medical form. Marcus and I both need full physicals as well as lab work, done and signed by a physician (not a nurse). We were told that the number one reason for a home study delay is the parents' medical forms/examinations, because it's usually hard to schedule an appointment quickly. 

Well, up to this point, God has been working things out pretty quickly and answering our prayers specifically and immediately, and I had no doubts that He could do it again. Marcus and I prayed, and then I called our clinic this morning to schedule our physicals. I explained that the physicals were needed for an adoption home study and that we really would like them scheduled in the next two weeks, and I was told that the soonest openings for physicals (because we would both be new patients with new doctors - neither of us have primary care physicians currently) were in February. Meaning four months away. Meaning our home study would be delayed four months. This was the one thing we realized would hold us back from the two-week turn around that our home study case worker had in mind. I was disappointed, but the receptionist at the clinic gave me the number to a clinic in a different city that I could try to get in to. 

So, I called. They weren't open yet. So I prayed some more. I told God that He had come through for us so far, and that I really needed Him to come through for us again. I prayed for a miracle and I specifically prayed that Marcus and I could both get physicals before our October 24th home visit, and that Marcus wouldn't have to take off work for his appointment.

Then, I called back. No answer. I left a voice mail and went to a play group. 

Less than two hours later, I got a call back. The woman at the clinic understood my situation and told me, "I have two openings for physicals and I hope you can fill the them because otherwise we don't have any more openings for a while." I held my breath and asked her what the dates were.

"Thursday October 22, and Friday October 23."

HOLD THE PHONE. Those two dates are both before our home visit and Marcus just requested those two days off of work to prepare for our home visit so he won't have to miss work to go. 

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

Thank you Jesus!

So now, our physicals are scheduled just in time for our home visit!

We still have lots left to do before our home visit. If we can get all of our paper work done and hand it to our case worker in person on October 24, that makes her job go a lot faster and we can get our home study approved in hopefully less than two weeks after that!

Which means our adoption can move forward that much faster.

We know that there is a reason that God is opening doors and moving this along quickly: we found our placement agency, home study agency, and got our physicals scheduled all in less than a week. Three huge prayers answered. I am completely confident that there is a purpose to our home study being scheduled and working out so soon. This is not typical for an international adoption case, but with God, anything is possible. He has His hand in all of this, and I can't help but think that our children are in Africa, waiting for us, and God gave us the nudge, and once we finally stepped out, He had us dive right in head first and get the ball rolling! I have a feeling that the Lord wants us to welcome those children into our home soon, and He's making a way for it. 

God is good. God is almighty. God is faithful.

Thank you for your continued prayers! We have a lot left to do before our home visit and lots of paperwork and forms to complete. It's slightly stressful and very overwhelming, but we know God is holding us. Prayer is powerful - keep interceding for us if you would! We appreciate all the love and support.

only through Him

On Wednesday, I posted asking for prayers that Marcus and I would find the right adoption agency for our family. 

Let me back up a bit...

Last weekend (October 2nd), I watched a documentary on Netflix called The Drop Box about a man in South Korea who rescues abandoned babies (I highly recommend this film!). There was a line in the movie that I loved but I couldn't remember it word for word. So I turned to Google and searched the part of the quote that I remembered, and came across the full quote on a Facebook page. After further investigating, I found out that this Facebook page (completely unrelated to The Drop Box) was for an organization that helps couples with airfare for international adoptions - how cool! I looked around the page for a bit and came across two families who had recently adopted two children each from Uganda (what we want - two children from Uganda!) so I turned back to my friend Google to creep on these families and found blogs for both of them. I fell in love with the blog of one of the families and spent over an hour reading her posts. She sounded a lot like me, from the way she wrote to the way her mind worked, to her personality and desires. She had posted in one of her blogs about their adoption story that if anyone was interested in the agency she used to complete her adoption, they could contact her personally. Her most recent blog post was 4 months ago, so I didn't know if I'd have any luck contacting her on there. So, I turned back to Google yet again (can you say creeper?) and tried to find another way to contact this awesome gal. I found her Facebook page and thought, why not message her? Facebook informed me that my message would go to her "other" folder and she wouldn't be alerted of the message because we had no mutual Facebook friends. I had no idea why I was compelled to even message this girl just to ask which adoption agency she used because I could go to my trusty friend Google and find about 1,000 adoption agencies in a matter of seconds! But, I messaged her anyway, expecting nothing to come of it. 

Well what do you know... the very next day, she messaged me back! She gave me the info of the agency she used and even said she works part-time there as a case manager now! I checked out the website and told her I'd talk to my husband and let her know if I had any questions. So, we looked at the website a little bit, but we knew we had lots of agency options and we had a super busy week. 

Fast forward to Wednesday, October 7, when I asked you to pray that we'd find an agency. About a dozen different agencies were swimming around in our minds because we had been researching our butts off to make sure we knew all our options. 

And that same day, this girl messaged me again saying that she'd love to answer any questions I had about their agency, website, or Ugandan adoption in general, because she had been through it. She also said she could give me the phone number for the agency's director. So, I figured that since she was offering, I would ask her some general questions I had. She quickly responded via email and CC'd her director in to the email. 

These ladies were so helpful answering Marcus' and my general questions about choosing an agency and adopting from Uganda. All day, I prayed that if this was the agency God wanted us to use, that Marcus would be 100% on board with this agency and have no doubts or reservations, and that if this was not the agency for us, that God would make that clear by Marcus' reaction. I really liked the agency and the info I had learned from these ladies, but I had to get Marcus' opinion. That evening after the kids were in bed, I read him the emails and showed him the website and asked what he thought, and he was super excited and thought that this agency was a perfect match for us and said we should move forward with the next step! Remember, this is all still October 7, the same day I blogged asking (and asked my church mama friends) for prayer regarding picking the right agency. Only through Him. God works fast! 

The next morning, we let the agency know that we wanted to take the next step and apply, and we sent our application in online that afternoon (which was free - lots of agencies charge a non-refundable fee for this; a huge blessing!) and have been in contact with them since. Since this agency is out-of-state, we have to find a separate "coordinating agency" to perform our home study and post-adoption reports. This second agency will be the people who give us the green light and approve us for who we can adopt - age, siblings, two unrelated children, etc. - so choosing them is important! Some agencies out there won't approve you for simultaneous adoptions of unrelated children no matter who you are, so we have to be careful and particular with the home study agency we choose. 

This is where we need prayer again! We will be signing a service agreement with the first agency (our international/placement agency) that we already have applied for early next week. Once that is done and that fee is paid, we will choose our coordinating home study agency to start that 3-ish month process of our home study, interviews, meetings, approval, etc. Please pray that we find the perfect second agency for us! God was so quick to answer our first prayer of finding a placement agency and we know He will answer this prayer, too. We would appreciate continued prayers for a smooth, quick (ha!) adoption process for everyone involved, including the fundraising, the orphanage in Africa and our future children. God is already moving in amazing ways that can only be explained through His mighty hand in our situation. These things have happened quickly and seamlessly already only through Him. 

We can not thank our family, friends, and blog followers enough for your prayers during our journey! 

For His glory, not mine; His will, not mine. 

little ones to Him belong...

One of Ezra's favorite songs right now is "Jesus Loves Me". He'll randomly come up to me and say, "Mama, watch this! 'Jesus loves me THIS I KNOW! For the Bible TELLS ME SO! Little ones to Him belong, they are weak and HE IS STRONG! YEEEESSSSS JESUS LOVES ME!'" as loudly as he can. 

My mom found this adorable little shirt and had to get it for Ezra. "Little ones to Him belong"... such a good reminder.

My little ones, Ezra & Selah, don't belong to me. They belong to God. They are His children first, and God gave them to me so that I could look after them and raise them to love the Lord. When I think about adoption, I have to remember that, too. The little ones that Marcus and I will some day welcome into our family belong to Jesus. They are His children. I love the idea of adopting children into our family, because God adopted all of us into His family. 

I love this quote by Max Lucado:

And this quote from Steven Curtis Chapman:

We pray daily for the children that we will someday adopt - that God would prepare their hearts right now, and if they aren't on this earth yet, that God would prepare the hearts of their families. God already knows who the children that we will someday call ours are. And I'm so thankful that God has called us to adoption. 

While we've been researching international adoption for what feels like a long time, God only strongly put adoption on our hearts less than a year and a half ago. Lately, as in the past couple of months, we really feel that God is pushing us to start now! There's a lot of steps in this lengthy process. Our next step in the adoption process is to find an agency! This is proving to be an overwhelming task. We really have a heart for Uganda and would love to adopt from there, possibly even two siblings! We have to pick an agency that works in Uganda, but it seems that there are a huge number of options for us. Please pray with us that God will lead us to the right agency for us and that He will guide us every step of the way. We also ask for your prayers in regards to the financial side of international adoption. Obviously, most families don't have $40,000 just sitting around to put towards an adoption, but we know that God will provide for what He has called us to do in His name, for His glory, like He has done for so many other adoptive families. We are looking forward to fundraising - garage sales, bake sales, t-shirt sales, etc. but we know that so much more can be accomplished through praying for God's blessing over this area! 

I'm excited to continue blogging and sharing our journey with you all! Thank you for your prayers.