the days of motherhood.

Some days I wake up with every intention to have an amazing day.

Some days I wake up and have to force myself to roll out of bed.

Some days I feel like I need a whole pot of coffee to keep my eyes open.

Some days I throw back the curtains and start crossing things off my to-do list before 8:00 am.

Some days I'm ready for a nap by 8:30 am.

Some days I feel ready to give up by 10:00 am.

Some days I can't wait for my husband to get home at 5:30 so I can have just 2 minutes to pee by myself without wondering if Ezra is going to climb on the chairs or Selah is going to wake up the instant I enter the bathroom.

Some days I take Ezra to the backyard and laugh and run around with him.

Some days I let Selah sleep in my arms during Ezra's 2 hour nap without feeling like I have to put her down to go dust or mop or prepare dinner.

Some days I wish I had time to hold her longer.

Some days I can't wait for bed time because she's been crying on and off for the past 3 hours.

Some days I get angry at my little boy.

Some days I raise my voice way too many times.

Some days I look into his innocent blue eyes as he talks in a gibberish language that only he understands and only then am I reminded that he won't be this little forever.

Some days he starts bawling for no reason when I tell him it's time for lunch and I breathe and remind myself "this too shall pass".

Some days I feel like I have everything under control.

Some days I feel like supermom when I can help Ezra stack his blocks, nurse the baby and make a grocery list all at the same time.

Some days I have to beg God to grant me patience.

Some days my toddler cries more than my newborn because he doesn't want macaroni even though he gobbled it down yesterday.

Some days I cry more than my toddler and newborn combined.

Some days I wonder, "why did I sign up for this?"

Some days I dread thinking about the next day and all I have to get done.

Some days I wake up feeling refreshed and handle the day like a champ and can't believe I was ever so stressed over motherhood.

Some days I want to rip my hair out.

Some days I have anxiety so strong I have to close my eyes and just breathe.

Some days I forget to look to God as my Helper.

Some days I have to turn on worship music and just enter His presence.

Some days I don't even know how to pray so I pray in tongues constantly.

Some days every thing my children or husband do gets on my nerves.

Some days I can't get enough of my children and their sweet smiles and hate to kiss them goodnight and not see them until tomorrow.

Some days I feel guilty for wishing for nap time so I can have alone time.

Some days I sneak into Ezra's room and watch him sleep.

Some days all I want to do is sing songs, play in the back yard, read books and have tickle wars with my little boy and I get nothing done that I planned on doing.

But every single day, I love those two kids more than anything in this world.

Every day I love them so much it hurts.

Every day I hold them and kiss them and tell them how much I love them.

Every single day I know I am blessed to have my beautiful children and my wonderful husband and that without my Savior, I am nothing.

Selah - one month

Wow, life has been busy over here! As of today, Selah has already been with us for one whole month!

This sweet girl has been growing a lot!

One month stats:

Weight: 11 lbs 11.8 oz

Length: 22.25 inches

She was born weighing 8 lbs 13 oz which means she has gained over 3 lbs in one month because as of June 10, she was only 8 lbs 3.2 oz. What a chunky girl! She sure does love to eat. She also is a great sleeper (at least compared to Ezra). She goes to bed when we do at 10:00 pm and then sleeps until 2 or 3 am, and then I feed her and she goes right back to sleep until 5:30 or 6, then I feed her and she goes back to sleep until 8:30 or 9. I like that she "sleeps in" because then I get some one-on-one time with Ezra in the mornings since he is usually up at 7:30. 

During the day she usually takes cat naps in her rock-n-play but I try to get her down for at least one nap a day in her cradle (which she sleeps in at night) but sometimes that's hard to do when we have places to go and people to see each day! 

Life with 2 under 2 has been pretty crazy, but I would definitely say that going from 0 to 1 child is a lot harder than going from 1 to 2. Selah fits right in with us and it's like she's always been here. I imagine it'll be a struggle to get her and Ezra on the same schedule as far as naps and bedtime go, but that's part of parenting. She's an "easy baby" as some would put it and she's so squishy & cuddly! 

I'm pretty sure Ezra loves her. He usually doesn't pay a ton of attention to her but she doesn't bother him (unless she's crying then sometimes he goes over to her and starts to cry - but most of the time he just touches her feet when she's crying and looks up at me... it's adorable). When I'm feeding her he will come over and kiss her feet or, his new thing, pet her hair. He sometimes pokes her in the head and I have to remind him to be gentle, and then he'll giggle and softly pet her head. If you ask him to, he'll lean in and give her a quick kiss which is actually just touching his lips to her, or getting his lips within an inch of her head which is good enough for him. 

Selah's favorite place to be is right on her daddy's chest. Each evening, this is where she lays while Marcus and I watch tv until it's time for bed. She just completely zonks out, mouth wide open, and sometimes she's in a very odd position, like sideways for example, but she loves it. 

She's starting to smile at us and she smiles in her sleep a lot. Super precious. She makes lots of grunts and occassionally makes little "coos" while she's awake. I can't wait for more of the cooing, it's one of my favorite things about babies. 

And so you don't miss him too much, here's a picture of Z from this morning:

For more adorable pictures of these as well as #whatSelahwore posts, follow us on Instagram! @chalysek3

Happy Tuesday!