my reminder.

I have so many things on my heart regarding my two amazing small humans who I love so much and all the joy they bring to my life. 

I want to remind myself that motherhood isn't always easy. And that's okay. Nobody promised me that it would be all rainbows and butterflies so I'm not sure why I get so discouraged when days get hard. Two year olds don't always behave perfectly. Babies don't go a full day without crying. Toddlers aren't automatically quiet when their mamas just need silence. Nap times won't always be on a perfect schedule. Being overwhelmed doesn't mean I'm doing something wrong, it's just called being a mom. 

I just want to tell myself that my kids only have one me. And they adore me. I am their hero and they see me as more amazing and wonderful than I see myself. I'm harder on myself when I mess up than they are. Do you know how many hugs my toddler gives me a day? I can't even count. But some days, I feel like I don't deserve any of them. Some days I wonder if my little boy would be ashamed of me or embarrassed that I'm his mama. I worry that we didn't read enough, didn't count enough, watched too many cartoons. 

I worry about balancing the attention I give to both of my kids and wonder if I'm doing it right. Do you worry about stuff like that? I need to remind myself that I'm doing just fine. I need to remember that God gave me these children - these children - and trusts me to take care of them. I ask God for help every morning to be the mama that he'd want me to be. I ask Him for my daily patience, gentleness, self control, calm voice, loving actions... 

At the end of the day, I often ask myself, "did my kids have a good day today?" because it's not always about how my day went. I may not have checked everything off my to-do list but did I talk to my kids enough? Did I give them enough kisses? Did I teach them something new? My job is to raise these small humans with the help of my husband and God. It isn't an easy task and it shouldn't be something I take lightly. I shouldn't focus on my children when I have time to fit them into my list of stuff to do for the day. Raising these kids is my job, not just something I make time for. It's the highest calling. Do you know how amazing it feels to see them pick up on something that I taught them? To hear them call me mama? To see them smile knowing I caused it? 

I want to remember that my kids need me to be a safe place for them. I want them to be able to come to me when they're stuck or lost or lonely. They won't always be little and they won't always need me to do everything for them. I'm honored to help them, encourage them, teach them, praise them...

If you're a parent, you know what it's like to love someone so much that it hurts - with the depths of your being, in places of your heart that you didn't know were there. I just want to be the best mama I can be. I need to remember that if I really put my whole heart into my children and trust and obey God, everything will be okay. My husband and I aren't raising these kids on our own - God is guiding us every step, and He loves them more than we do! 

As a mom, some days I need these reminders. So that I remember what my goal is, so that I remember who I am, so that I can wake up refreshed after having a hard day. So that I remember God is on my side, and that I can always try to better myself as a wife, mom & friend. 

Selah is 9 months old!

I can't believe my baby girl is already 3/4 of a year old! And obviously she's harder to keep still... ;)

She has had bites of our food quite a few times the past couple of weeks, but nursing is still her favorite! Yesterday she ate a whole piece of toast in under 4 minutes while her brother only took 2 bites of his... she's a food lover, that's for sure! 

She still nurses about every 2-3 hours during the day. Some nights she sleeps 12 hours straight and other times she's up once or twice. 

Her new thing to do is crawl over to where we keep our shoes in the kitchen by the garage and try to eat them. Shoes are her favorite. She likes being tickled and laughing at her brother all day long.

She waves bye-bye now when I wave to her... sweetest thing. Her wave isn't exactly ladylike though, it's more like Thor smashing down is hammer, but she still does it on command!

She has both her bottom teeth which is simply adorable. She's done pretty well with teething and we use Camilia drops to help with any pain.

She says both "mama" and "dada" now and knows which one of us is which. When I get her out of her crib in the morning or she is crying in her bed wanting to nurse, she says, "mama" over and over. Sometimes when she sees me she will crawl over to me and say, "dada" but if I tell her I'm Mama, she'll smile and say, "mama" instead. Little stinker.

She can sign "more" and we're working on "please" and "milk" too. She can turn off light switches now which is pretty handy if I have her in one arm and something else in the other arm, I can just ask her to turn the light off and she'll flip the switch! If you want to see a video of it, follow us on Vine!

Selah pulls up to stand on everything and cruises, even on walls, all day long. She will let go and stand for about 4 seconds before sitting down. I think she'll be walking pretty soon! 

I can't believe how fast she is growing. Her first 9 months have flown by for me compared to Ezra's first 9 months, probably because I have two kids to keep me busy now! She'll be 40 weeks old on Sunday which means she has been out of my belly almost as long as she was in it! Amazing.

I can't wait to see all the new things she learns this month!