my reminder.

I have so many things on my heart regarding my two amazing small humans who I love so much and all the joy they bring to my life. 

I want to remind myself that motherhood isn't always easy. And that's okay. Nobody promised me that it would be all rainbows and butterflies so I'm not sure why I get so discouraged when days get hard. Two year olds don't always behave perfectly. Babies don't go a full day without crying. Toddlers aren't automatically quiet when their mamas just need silence. Nap times won't always be on a perfect schedule. Being overwhelmed doesn't mean I'm doing something wrong, it's just called being a mom. 

I just want to tell myself that my kids only have one me. And they adore me. I am their hero and they see me as more amazing and wonderful than I see myself. I'm harder on myself when I mess up than they are. Do you know how many hugs my toddler gives me a day? I can't even count. But some days, I feel like I don't deserve any of them. Some days I wonder if my little boy would be ashamed of me or embarrassed that I'm his mama. I worry that we didn't read enough, didn't count enough, watched too many cartoons. 

I worry about balancing the attention I give to both of my kids and wonder if I'm doing it right. Do you worry about stuff like that? I need to remind myself that I'm doing just fine. I need to remember that God gave me these children - these children - and trusts me to take care of them. I ask God for help every morning to be the mama that he'd want me to be. I ask Him for my daily patience, gentleness, self control, calm voice, loving actions... 

At the end of the day, I often ask myself, "did my kids have a good day today?" because it's not always about how my day went. I may not have checked everything off my to-do list but did I talk to my kids enough? Did I give them enough kisses? Did I teach them something new? My job is to raise these small humans with the help of my husband and God. It isn't an easy task and it shouldn't be something I take lightly. I shouldn't focus on my children when I have time to fit them into my list of stuff to do for the day. Raising these kids is my job, not just something I make time for. It's the highest calling. Do you know how amazing it feels to see them pick up on something that I taught them? To hear them call me mama? To see them smile knowing I caused it? 

I want to remember that my kids need me to be a safe place for them. I want them to be able to come to me when they're stuck or lost or lonely. They won't always be little and they won't always need me to do everything for them. I'm honored to help them, encourage them, teach them, praise them...

If you're a parent, you know what it's like to love someone so much that it hurts - with the depths of your being, in places of your heart that you didn't know were there. I just want to be the best mama I can be. I need to remember that if I really put my whole heart into my children and trust and obey God, everything will be okay. My husband and I aren't raising these kids on our own - God is guiding us every step, and He loves them more than we do! 

As a mom, some days I need these reminders. So that I remember what my goal is, so that I remember who I am, so that I can wake up refreshed after having a hard day. So that I remember God is on my side, and that I can always try to better myself as a wife, mom & friend.