it's orphan Sunday... how can you help?

Today is Orphan Sunday. This is a day in November (National Adoption Month) for Christians to stand up for the orphans, the fatherless, the children with no family. According to the Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO), "On Orphan Sunday, churches across America and beyond celebrate the love of the God who “places the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6) and calls us to do the same. Ultimately, Orphan Sunday seeks to make the Gospel visible as Christians explore and respond to God’s heart for the orphan in adoption, foster care, and global orphan ministry."

To recognize this day, my parents and I wore our adoption shirts to church!

Adoption is an amazing thing. But not everyone is called to welcome an orphan into their family. And that's okay! God has different callings for different families and all of them are important. And what's more important is that you answer the calling God has for you. 

Even though not everyone is called to adopt an orphan, everyone is called to care for the orphans. 

"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans." Isaiah 1:17

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

"For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords... He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow..." Deuteronomy 10:17-18

Caring for the orphans will look different for each person and family. But you do have a part! 

Are you wondering how you can help the orphans? Here are some ideas:

1. Pray for orphans. 

2. Pray for families who are adopting.

3. Give financial support to adoptive families. Of course, I'd love for you to donate to our adoption fund, but any monetary donation to an adoptive family makes a difference! You can be a part of bringing an orphan home. 

4. Sponsor a child. There are children in orphanages who need sponsorship. There are children without families to pay for their food and schooling. There are also children who do have families, but those family members can't afford to pay for their food or schooling, so the children either go hungry and uneducated, or are released to an orphanage even though they aren't truly without families. One organization that I adore is Amazima. Your sponsorship of a child through this ministry will educate and feed them so that their families don't have to relinquish the child due to lack of resources and funds to raise them in their family. There are plenty of other organizations you can sponsor a child through, like Holt International, where your sponsorship can help a child stay in their family, and if that's not possible, find them a loving adoptive family. 

5. Support adoptive/foster families in other ways! Make a meal, offer to babysit, send an encouraging note... there are so many ways to pour out love and support.

I love this image I saw online today.

Like I mentioned, not everyone is called to adopt but everyone is called to do something. Some people are called to foster, some are called to adopt domestically, and some, like us, are called to adopt internationally. Some are called to sponsor a child. Some are called to donate to an adoptive family. Some are called to be prayer warriors for the orphans. How is God calling you to care for His children?

the minivan that almost wasn't.

We got a van! The story is an interesting one so I thought I'd share how God answered our prayers. :)

Before yesterday, I drove a Ford Escape. I love it and it's the perfect size for our family of 4. However, we won't be a family of 4 forever! We needed an upgrade but we knew we wanted to keep our Escape for Marcus. He drove a 2002 Grand Am and it was a miracle that it lasted as long as it did... which it barely scraped by. We had been praying for a new car for him for over a year. It was a tough car for winter because it had no heat (and no A/C in the summer!) plus the driver's side window didn't work, and it needed new tires, plus a long list of other mechanical issues. We were praying we didn't need to put any more money into it before we got rid of it. 

So, we decided to start looking into vans before winter came because we didn't think Marcus' Grand Am would even make it through the first snow fall. Amazingly, we quickly found the perfect minivan at a dealership about an hour away! It was exactly what we wanted and a good price. They had recently lowered the price, so when we called about it, the sales rep we talked to said to come in sooner rather than later. I asked my parents to watch our small humans last night (Thursday) while we went to check it out. We planned on trading the Grand Am in for the minivan, so we needed to drive the Grand Am an hour away to get us to the dealership. I drove the Escape (with the kids' carseats in it) to my parents' house and Marcus followed me with the Grand Am. We dropped the kids off at my mom's at 5:15 and were on our way, leaving the Escape at my parents' and driving the Grand Am to Waukesha.

About 4 minutes into our drive, Marcus said that ever since he added more coolant a few months ago (when his car overheated about 25 minutes away at 7:30 am on a Thursday morning and I had to bring him coolant and then jump his car... that was fun) his car had been acting fine, but all of the sudden, as we were driving and had just left my parents' house, the temperature gauge (I have no idea what the correct terminology is here) was going up higher and higher. And then the car started clunking and making weird sounds. And Marcus said we had to pull over right away. So we got off the highway and pulled over at a restaurant. It was only 5:20 but it was basically pitch black out already. He popped the hood and saw smoke and fluid leaking... never good signs. He had no idea why this was happening because he literally *just* added more coolant before we headed to the dealership (so like, half an hour ago) but it was overheating like it did a few months ago. Not cool! We were getting ready to trade this bad boy in, we couldn't have it die on us! If we couldn't get it to the dealership an hour away, we couldn't trade it in for a van. So what did we do?

We prayed, obviously. I was praying silently the whole time that Marcus was trying to figure out what was going on with the car and then we prayed together before shutting the hood and hopping back in the car. We started it and it was still making funny sounds, so we planned on driving back to my parents' house to get the Escape and drive that to the dealership to look at the van. We were disappointed because if we ended up wanting to buy the van, we'd have nothing to trade for it because we needed to keep our Escape as Marcus' car and his Grand Am wasn't about to get us all the way to the dealership.

As we headed back to my parents' house, the car stopped making weird noises, so just a moment before we turned left to head back to my parents', we went right and decided to try heading to the dealership again. We drove for a couple minutes on the highway and were approaching the restaurant we pulled into the first time (half an hour ago by this point) and the car was staying in the normal temperature range. I kept praying and praying the whole ride there... and by God's grace, we made it all the way to the dealership with no issues! 

I knew that Satan didn't want us to get a van, because that meant one more step towards adopting two children. I always like to do the opposite of what Satan wants. Satan didn't want us to get a van, which means I really wanted a van! Satan hates adoption and he wants orphans to stay orphans. He hates when families are pieced together. Right when things are going well (like we found a van that would fit all 6 of us and it seemed like the perfect fit for us!) is when Satan wants to step in and destroy that plan. He wants to fill you with doubt and put up roadblocks to stop you from getting where you're going. I'm so glad that God is more powerful than the devil and that we made it to the dealership in one piece. We could have let the doubt sink in and given up. We could have just dropped the whole plan of getting a van because we didn't think we could make it there. We could have been grouchy and negative and disappointed instead of trusting God to fulfill His plan. But, we were obedient in praying for God's favor and protection and like always, He proved His faithfulness.

When we got there, we asked for Mark, who is the guy that Marcus talked to on the phone about the van the day prior. He showed us the van and let us test drive it. As he was making casual conversation, he asked us why we needed a van. We told him we had two kids and were in the process of adopting two more kids. He looked at us and said, "do you guys go to church in Janesville?" and we said "yeah, we go to New Life Assembly of God." He replied with, "as soon as you said you were adopting, I knew you had to be Christians! I go to Waukesha First Assembly of God!" Marcus and I exchanged looks with our jaws dropped and said, "you mean Pastor Todd's church? He was the associate pastor at our church until he left to go to Waukesha to be the senior pastor 4 years ago! Small world!" We all talked about how awesome Pastor Todd & Michelle were and Mark told us a little bit of his testimony as we test drove the van. We talked about the new youth pastor at Waukesha First, Tyler, (who also used to go to New Life in Janesville) and how Mark related to his story. We talked about the goodness of God, the heart of Jesus, and how awesome it is to be able to serve. I still can't believe that when Marcus happened to call the dealership on a random Wednesday, that the guy who picked up the phone and ended up selling us our van happened to go to the church that our former associate pastor (and current senior pastor's son-in-law) now is the senior pastor of! Small world!

We test drove the van, talked numbers, got a trade in value for the Grand Am (which wasn't much because like I said, it was falling apart, but it was better than nothing!) and worked everything out. After 3 hours at the dealership and 2 hours of travel, we got to pick up our kids from my parents' house with our new minivan. We're so thrilled, and I feel like an official mom now that I have a "soccer mom van"! ;) 

The stow-and-go seating in the van is great because I am selling a bunch of stuff at a huge church garage sale tomorrow, so I can put the back seats down to fit several bins of baby clothes in the back of the van to haul over to the church tomorrow. Perfect timing! Pray that I sell a lot, because all the money goes towards our adoption fund!

These pictures don't do justice to the amazing Tetris skills of my husband... I have no idea how he fit everything into the van!

Oh and speaking of adoption fund, did I mention we're over 55% FUNDED?! Praise God!

There's still time to buy t-shirts here.

So, that's our little story of how we got our minivan. Once again, Satan tried to step in and destroy our plan and crush our spirits, but God is greater! Just one more thing to prove that this adoption is exactly where God wants us.

Vehicle for 4 children: check!

t-shirt fundraiser!

As another way to raise funds for our adoption, we are doing a t-shirt fundraiser!

These shirts are not your average group t-shirts... they are super soft and comfy and are a cotton/polyester blend. And they are for a good cause! 

To order a shirt, go to this link: https://www.bonfirefunds.com/meiklejohn-adoption

and buy as many as you need in your sizes. Then, once the fund is over, the shirts ship to your door, and we get part of the profits! Easy as that! 

The more shirts we sell, the more profit we get per shirt, so order away! Grab an extra as a Christmas gift for a friend or coworker. ;) 

Thank you for your support in bringing our littles home from Africa!

home study update & Jinja gift shop

This weekend, we had our adoption home study visits! If you haven't read the story about how God worked out this home study so quickly and perfectly, you can read about it here.

Marcus and I were nervous for our home study visits because we hadn't ever done a home study before but things went great!

When I called on October 12th to schedule our home visit and was told I had 12 days to get as many of the 26 separate things checked off our list as possible (preferably all of them) I went into beast mode. Each of the 26 steps required several signatures and included dozens of forms to fill out per step, and we also had to get physicals, fingerprints, background checks, and more. The reason that home studies usually take 3-6 months is because there's so much paper work. Thanks to my type-A get-it-done-now personality, we completed everything just in time for our home visit yesterday (Saturday, October 24th) including 16 hours of adoption education! Boom. We rewarded ourselves with some of our kids' Halloween candy that they got at our church's fall festival. (Don't tell them.)

fingerprints: check

physicals: check

education and all paperwork: check

reward = chocolate & Netflix

And for reference, here's a before and after our faces pre- and post-home study:

In my heart, I knew we'd be approved for our home study because God ordained this whole process and we knew we were called by Him to adopt. But my flesh had doubts and I was nervous.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for us during this time! We were told that there's no reason we won't be approved. Right now we just have to wait for our case worker to get all the papers signed, organized & notarized.

As far as our home visits the past two days, everything went perfectly and our case worker was very impressed with how fast we got all our forms done and how organized we were. She also loved the story of how our international adoption process came to be, and she was very interested in our love story. We were able to witness to her about why we thought our marriage would last when about half of marriages fail (this was one of the interview questions she asked us) and we had a chance to share our faith, how involved we are in our church, and the ministries we participate and volunteer in. She loved listening to how God has orchestrated everything in our lives. We are so thankful that He is using us for His glory!

We also told our case worker about a shop here in Janesville that we just discovered ourselves. It's called Jinja Fair Trade Gift Shop and it's just a couple of minutes down the road from us! We heard about this store in our local newspaper last weekend and just had to check it out. It's a fair trade shop, and the items for sale in it were handmade in Uganda (mostly in Jinja, Uganda) and the profits from the sales of these items goes right back to Uganda to help their organization which is called the Hope Institute of Uganda. They provide education, health care, and economic opportunities for young men and women in Uganda. The Jijna Gift Shop has been in our town for a few years and somehow we never knew about it, but it just happened to be featured in our newspaper right around the time when we decided to adopt from Uganda! How cool is that?

Marcus and I checked out this shop on Friday, and we told our case worker about it, and she went after our visit on Saturday to look around. While we were there on Friday, we were able to talk to the owner (who is from Uganda himself) about our plans to adopt from there. He gave us some travel tips and information. The kids got to play some Ugandan instruments, hear some African music and play with some handmade toys.

We ended up buying Ezra a cool metal car, and we got Selah a big doll that had a baby doll tied on the back (yay for babywearing!) and I got a keychain and a bracelet.

So awesome that this Jinja shop has basically been in our backyard all this time!

Our next step is to wait for our home study to be approved. In the meantime, we need to file our I-600A (which is a bunch more paperwork!) and then do more fingerprinting, and wait for approval for that which will state that we are approved to adopt internationally. From there, we assemble our dossier, which is all the paperwork and files that we send to Uganda. 

So, I see a lot more paperwork in our future, and also a lot of waiting! The I-600A approval can take 8-12 weeks. We are praying that things move faster than that, which has been how our whole process has been working so far! We know that God will ensure the perfect timing of it all.

Thank you again for all your prayers! We need continued prayers that things move quickly, that there are no delays or huge hurdles to jump, and that God continues to show favor and have His hand in it all.

a piece of our adoption puzzle

I've posted this on Facebook already, but in case you missed it...

Many people have already asked us how they can help financially on our adoption journey. International adoption is expensive, y'all. There are several reasons that we are pursuing international adoption over domestic adoption, but that's a post for a later date. We don't love asking for money, but we realize that this is much more than that; we are asking you to be a part of our journey, and a part of our children's stories!

So to help us with the funds, we are doing a PUZZLE FUNDRAISER! 

Here's how it works:

1. We bought a custom 252-piece puzzle with our adoption design on it! We are "selling" each piece.

2. To "buy" a piece, go to our You Caring page and make a donation of any amount that you choose. Here's the link: click here

(There's a button on the top of the blog for donations as well!)

*You can also donate in person! You'll notice our "goal" is $40,000. We don't expect to get $40,000 in donations right on our fundraising website, but that's our estimate of costs. We plan on doing other fun fundraisers to reach our goal!

3. Once you "purchase" a piece, we will write your name on a puzzle piece, take a picture of it, and upload it to a puzzle fundraiser album on Facebook.

4. Once all the pieces are "sold", we will assemble the puzzle and put it in a double sided glass frame for our children to see.

How cool will it be to show our future children the names of all the people who loved them and supported us/helped us bring them home before they even knew them?

*If you make an anonymous donation on our You Caring page, I will write "anonymous" on that puzzle piece unless you contact me to let me know that you'd like your family name on it.

*All donations go directly into a separate adoption savings account. We've already had to pay thousands in fees so far, so any donation at this time helps!

We will be having more fundraisers in the coming weeks and months including a yard sale, pancake fundraiser, and t-shirt fundraiser, but for now, this is a general place for you to donate. 

Thank you for having a "piece" in the journey that God has called us to!

if I didn't know Jesus...

If I didn't know Jesus, I would have a mind full of anxiety and fear.

I would worry always, constantly be on edge, and feel nauseous over the fact that I couldn't see the future.

If I didn't know Jesus, I would be have a heart full of bitterness and anger.

I would be slow to forgive, quick to anger, quick to speak, slow to listen.

I would hold grudges, be merciless and full of hate, and react with a heart of vengeance. 

If I didn't know Jesus, I would feel lost and alone.

I would often find myself feeling empty, I would question my existence.

I wouldn't know where to go or what to do.

If I didn't know Jesus, I would feel insecure and like a failure.

I would over analyze every decision I made, question my intelligence, and feel unworthy.

I would speak negativity over my life, believe I had no value, and think that I was unimportant.

If I didn't know Jesus, depression would swallow me whole.

I would feel dark, empty, worthless, annoying, stupid and pointless.

I would feel shallow, sad, quiet, anxious, down, heavy and disappointed.

If I didn't know Jesus, I would be doomed to eternity without Him.

Lost, alone, hopeless, burning in the darkness of Hell forever.

But because I know Jesus...

I feel joy. Not always happiness, but a joy that comes from the Lord.

I feel peace. God knows my future, so I don't have to.

I feel secure. God has already won my battles.

I feel important. God made me for a purpose.

I feel beautiful. God made me in His image.

I feel loved. I know that I'm never alone and that Jesus died for me.

I feel valued. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I feel uplifted. He is the rock on which I stand.

I feel patient. He gives me the fruit of the Spirit.

I have no fear. I will fear no evil; He has given me a spirit of peace.

I AM secure, important, beautiful, loved, valued... because He has made me this way and given me these gifts.

Because I know Jesus, I will not perish, but have eternal life in Heaven with Him.

Do you know Jesus?

perfect provision - an adoption update

I am just in awe of God's provision, wisdom, and direct, specific, immediate answers to prayer!

Let me share with you.

Three days ago, I blogged about how God had answered our prayers and we had found a placement agency! The reason I write down the specific details of everything is mostly so that I can look back some day and see how God was right in the middle of everything, making a way and answering prayers. I also write it all down because I believe God will use our adoption journey as a powerful testimony of His love for His children, His will being worked out in the lives of those who love Him, and to hopefully encourage others and lead them to the Lord.

In that blog post, I asked for more prayers, specifically that we would find a home study agency in our state that met all the qualifications we needed for an agency, and quickly. That was on a weekend day, so I knew I had to sit patiently and wait until Monday to make some phone calls to home study agencies. 

Monday came around and as soon as 8:00 AM hit, I called some home study agencies. I left messages at a couple places, got a "disconnected line" message at another place, and talked to someone for a good five minutes at another place, until she told me they don't even work with international adoptions, so that was a waste of a phone call. I had called all the places I had down to call, so I put my phone down and prayed.

Just half an hour later, I got a call back from a home study agency less than two hours away from us. I asked her all the questions I had, and her agency met all the requirements we needed for an agency and she told me she wanted to come start our home study in less than two weeks! She said after her home visits with us, should could have our home study completed and turned around in two weeks. !!! Home studies are usually a 3-6 month process, people! I was shaking so hard with excitement that I could barely hold the phone up to my ear! She gave me all the info I needed, told me what to print and fill out and mail to her, and what to do next. We already have our first two home visits set up and scheduled (for 11 and 12 days from now!) and we have our list of other paperwork we need filled out, copied, signed, checked off, etc.

It's a bit overwhelming! Last night, I stayed up until past midnight (which I never do - I'm usually out like a light by 9:30 pm!) and filled out all the paper work that I possibly could on our list of 30+ items to get completed. When I have something to get done, I want it done yesterday. Some of the forms have to be signed by employers, we have to make copies of all our birth certificates and other documents, we need proof of income and employment, fingerprints and background checks... the list goes on and on!

I didn't think we'd have a problem getting any of the forms filled out by our first home visit on October 24th... until I got to the medical form. Marcus and I both need full physicals as well as lab work, done and signed by a physician (not a nurse). We were told that the number one reason for a home study delay is the parents' medical forms/examinations, because it's usually hard to schedule an appointment quickly. 

Well, up to this point, God has been working things out pretty quickly and answering our prayers specifically and immediately, and I had no doubts that He could do it again. Marcus and I prayed, and then I called our clinic this morning to schedule our physicals. I explained that the physicals were needed for an adoption home study and that we really would like them scheduled in the next two weeks, and I was told that the soonest openings for physicals (because we would both be new patients with new doctors - neither of us have primary care physicians currently) were in February. Meaning four months away. Meaning our home study would be delayed four months. This was the one thing we realized would hold us back from the two-week turn around that our home study case worker had in mind. I was disappointed, but the receptionist at the clinic gave me the number to a clinic in a different city that I could try to get in to. 

So, I called. They weren't open yet. So I prayed some more. I told God that He had come through for us so far, and that I really needed Him to come through for us again. I prayed for a miracle and I specifically prayed that Marcus and I could both get physicals before our October 24th home visit, and that Marcus wouldn't have to take off work for his appointment.

Then, I called back. No answer. I left a voice mail and went to a play group. 

Less than two hours later, I got a call back. The woman at the clinic understood my situation and told me, "I have two openings for physicals and I hope you can fill the them because otherwise we don't have any more openings for a while." I held my breath and asked her what the dates were.

"Thursday October 22, and Friday October 23."

HOLD THE PHONE. Those two dates are both before our home visit and Marcus just requested those two days off of work to prepare for our home visit so he won't have to miss work to go. 

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

Thank you Jesus!

So now, our physicals are scheduled just in time for our home visit!

We still have lots left to do before our home visit. If we can get all of our paper work done and hand it to our case worker in person on October 24, that makes her job go a lot faster and we can get our home study approved in hopefully less than two weeks after that!

Which means our adoption can move forward that much faster.

We know that there is a reason that God is opening doors and moving this along quickly: we found our placement agency, home study agency, and got our physicals scheduled all in less than a week. Three huge prayers answered. I am completely confident that there is a purpose to our home study being scheduled and working out so soon. This is not typical for an international adoption case, but with God, anything is possible. He has His hand in all of this, and I can't help but think that our children are in Africa, waiting for us, and God gave us the nudge, and once we finally stepped out, He had us dive right in head first and get the ball rolling! I have a feeling that the Lord wants us to welcome those children into our home soon, and He's making a way for it. 

God is good. God is almighty. God is faithful.

Thank you for your continued prayers! We have a lot left to do before our home visit and lots of paperwork and forms to complete. It's slightly stressful and very overwhelming, but we know God is holding us. Prayer is powerful - keep interceding for us if you would! We appreciate all the love and support.

only through Him

On Wednesday, I posted asking for prayers that Marcus and I would find the right adoption agency for our family. 

Let me back up a bit...

Last weekend (October 2nd), I watched a documentary on Netflix called The Drop Box about a man in South Korea who rescues abandoned babies (I highly recommend this film!). There was a line in the movie that I loved but I couldn't remember it word for word. So I turned to Google and searched the part of the quote that I remembered, and came across the full quote on a Facebook page. After further investigating, I found out that this Facebook page (completely unrelated to The Drop Box) was for an organization that helps couples with airfare for international adoptions - how cool! I looked around the page for a bit and came across two families who had recently adopted two children each from Uganda (what we want - two children from Uganda!) so I turned back to my friend Google to creep on these families and found blogs for both of them. I fell in love with the blog of one of the families and spent over an hour reading her posts. She sounded a lot like me, from the way she wrote to the way her mind worked, to her personality and desires. She had posted in one of her blogs about their adoption story that if anyone was interested in the agency she used to complete her adoption, they could contact her personally. Her most recent blog post was 4 months ago, so I didn't know if I'd have any luck contacting her on there. So, I turned back to Google yet again (can you say creeper?) and tried to find another way to contact this awesome gal. I found her Facebook page and thought, why not message her? Facebook informed me that my message would go to her "other" folder and she wouldn't be alerted of the message because we had no mutual Facebook friends. I had no idea why I was compelled to even message this girl just to ask which adoption agency she used because I could go to my trusty friend Google and find about 1,000 adoption agencies in a matter of seconds! But, I messaged her anyway, expecting nothing to come of it. 

Well what do you know... the very next day, she messaged me back! She gave me the info of the agency she used and even said she works part-time there as a case manager now! I checked out the website and told her I'd talk to my husband and let her know if I had any questions. So, we looked at the website a little bit, but we knew we had lots of agency options and we had a super busy week. 

Fast forward to Wednesday, October 7, when I asked you to pray that we'd find an agency. About a dozen different agencies were swimming around in our minds because we had been researching our butts off to make sure we knew all our options. 

And that same day, this girl messaged me again saying that she'd love to answer any questions I had about their agency, website, or Ugandan adoption in general, because she had been through it. She also said she could give me the phone number for the agency's director. So, I figured that since she was offering, I would ask her some general questions I had. She quickly responded via email and CC'd her director in to the email. 

These ladies were so helpful answering Marcus' and my general questions about choosing an agency and adopting from Uganda. All day, I prayed that if this was the agency God wanted us to use, that Marcus would be 100% on board with this agency and have no doubts or reservations, and that if this was not the agency for us, that God would make that clear by Marcus' reaction. I really liked the agency and the info I had learned from these ladies, but I had to get Marcus' opinion. That evening after the kids were in bed, I read him the emails and showed him the website and asked what he thought, and he was super excited and thought that this agency was a perfect match for us and said we should move forward with the next step! Remember, this is all still October 7, the same day I blogged asking (and asked my church mama friends) for prayer regarding picking the right agency. Only through Him. God works fast! 

The next morning, we let the agency know that we wanted to take the next step and apply, and we sent our application in online that afternoon (which was free - lots of agencies charge a non-refundable fee for this; a huge blessing!) and have been in contact with them since. Since this agency is out-of-state, we have to find a separate "coordinating agency" to perform our home study and post-adoption reports. This second agency will be the people who give us the green light and approve us for who we can adopt - age, siblings, two unrelated children, etc. - so choosing them is important! Some agencies out there won't approve you for simultaneous adoptions of unrelated children no matter who you are, so we have to be careful and particular with the home study agency we choose. 

This is where we need prayer again! We will be signing a service agreement with the first agency (our international/placement agency) that we already have applied for early next week. Once that is done and that fee is paid, we will choose our coordinating home study agency to start that 3-ish month process of our home study, interviews, meetings, approval, etc. Please pray that we find the perfect second agency for us! God was so quick to answer our first prayer of finding a placement agency and we know He will answer this prayer, too. We would appreciate continued prayers for a smooth, quick (ha!) adoption process for everyone involved, including the fundraising, the orphanage in Africa and our future children. God is already moving in amazing ways that can only be explained through His mighty hand in our situation. These things have happened quickly and seamlessly already only through Him. 

We can not thank our family, friends, and blog followers enough for your prayers during our journey! 

For His glory, not mine; His will, not mine. 

little ones to Him belong...

One of Ezra's favorite songs right now is "Jesus Loves Me". He'll randomly come up to me and say, "Mama, watch this! 'Jesus loves me THIS I KNOW! For the Bible TELLS ME SO! Little ones to Him belong, they are weak and HE IS STRONG! YEEEESSSSS JESUS LOVES ME!'" as loudly as he can. 

My mom found this adorable little shirt and had to get it for Ezra. "Little ones to Him belong"... such a good reminder.

My little ones, Ezra & Selah, don't belong to me. They belong to God. They are His children first, and God gave them to me so that I could look after them and raise them to love the Lord. When I think about adoption, I have to remember that, too. The little ones that Marcus and I will some day welcome into our family belong to Jesus. They are His children. I love the idea of adopting children into our family, because God adopted all of us into His family. 

I love this quote by Max Lucado:

And this quote from Steven Curtis Chapman:

We pray daily for the children that we will someday adopt - that God would prepare their hearts right now, and if they aren't on this earth yet, that God would prepare the hearts of their families. God already knows who the children that we will someday call ours are. And I'm so thankful that God has called us to adoption. 

While we've been researching international adoption for what feels like a long time, God only strongly put adoption on our hearts less than a year and a half ago. Lately, as in the past couple of months, we really feel that God is pushing us to start now! There's a lot of steps in this lengthy process. Our next step in the adoption process is to find an agency! This is proving to be an overwhelming task. We really have a heart for Uganda and would love to adopt from there, possibly even two siblings! We have to pick an agency that works in Uganda, but it seems that there are a huge number of options for us. Please pray with us that God will lead us to the right agency for us and that He will guide us every step of the way. We also ask for your prayers in regards to the financial side of international adoption. Obviously, most families don't have $40,000 just sitting around to put towards an adoption, but we know that God will provide for what He has called us to do in His name, for His glory, like He has done for so many other adoptive families. We are looking forward to fundraising - garage sales, bake sales, t-shirt sales, etc. but we know that so much more can be accomplished through praying for God's blessing over this area! 

I'm excited to continue blogging and sharing our journey with you all! Thank you for your prayers.

greatness and goodness.

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us."
- A. W. Tozer

This quote has popped up a few times in the last couple of weeks for me.

Marcus and I started reading a new book this week called In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. This morning, we read a section called "A High View of God". It quoted A. W. Tozer from The Knowledge of the Holy: "...the most portentous fact about any man is not what he at a given time may say or do, but what he in his deep heart conceives God to be like... Were we able to extract from any man a complete answer to the question, "What comes to your mind when you think about God?" we might predict with certainty the spiritual future of that man." 

Mark Batterson says, "most of our problems are not circumstantial. Most of our problems are perceptual." Mark also said this, which blew my mind: "Astronomers have spied galaxies 12.3 billion light-years from earth. To put that distance into perspective, consider the fact that light traveling 186,000 miles per second only takes eight minutes to travel the 93 million miles between the sun and planet earth. Sunlight is only eight minutes old. But light from the furthest galaxy takes 12.3 billion years to get here. That distance is virtually incomprehensible! And God says that is about the distance between His thoughts and our thoughts. Your best though about God on your best day falls 12.3 billion light-years short of how great and how good God really is. We underestimate God's goodness and greatness by at least 12.3 billion light-years." 

I knew I had heard this Tozer quote recently, but I've read several books in the past couple of weeks so I wasn't sure where I had read it. I grabbed Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick (which I talked about in my last post) and quickly skimmed it and found Tozer's quote on page 93, in a chapter Furtick titles, "The Simplest Systematic Theology Ever". Furtick starts the chapter by saying, "...the size of our vision [for our life] isn't even determined by who God is... Instead, the scope and impact of your vision will be determined by who you believe God is". Furtick then shares the Tozer quote that I've already shared with you and goes on to reiterate that "our view of God is the most important thing about us." 

Furtick explains that there are two things we need to know about God.

1. God is great.

2. God is good.

Batterson talks also about God's goodness and greatness in his book as I've already mentioned. 

Psalm 62:11-12: "One thing God has spoken, two things I have heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving."

God is great because he is strong. Furtick says, "If your problem is too big for you, it's just the right size for God." 

God is good because he is loving. Furtick says, "God's goodness means that all his greatness is meant to work in your life for your good. Not necessarily your momentary happiness. But your ultimate good." 

I don't think it's a coincidence that I've heard this quote a few times in the past two weeks. God likes to work that way when He really wants something to stick in my mind. ;) 

As Marcus and I are on this journey of following whatever God would have for our lives, I often find myself overwhelmed with the possibilities of what God will call us to do. He has already started guiding us on our way as we trust in Him, but we don't necessarily know all the specific steps. We are being obedient and following us where He leads us, but sometimes, I limit the ideas and options for us because I think, "There's no way God would ask us to do that!" I feel too small. I feel too incapable. I feel inadequate, not special enough or strong enough.

I also know that we have to be patient. I have been praying specific, bold prayers that God would show us where He wants us to go next. But I want Him to answer me now! But sometimes, God's answer is, "not yet." 

God is showing me that nothing is impossible with Him. He can call us to do great, amazing, seemingly impossible things. But nothing is impossible with Him, because He is great. And I know that God will answer our prayers and show us the way in His perfect timing because He is good. 

Sometimes, like Batterson said, I underestimate God's power; His goodness and His greatness. Sometimes I forget that He is in control. I can beg and barter with God all I want, but He is the one who will make His plans work. I have to submit to His will and follow after Him with all of my heart! And He will work all things together for good. In His timing, not mine. 

When I think about God, I want to always first remember His infinite goodness and greatness. I want to put all of my faith and trust in Him. And when He makes me wait, He is just testing and strengthening my faith. What comes to my mind when I think about God ought to be His amazing provision, love, and power over the universe. If He holds the whole world in His hands, then certainly He holds my heart and dreams and desire to follow His will.

Stepping into the unknown and giving control over to God isn't always easy. And nobody said it would be! But the Lord is strengthening me through it, and I know He's got my back.

What comes to your mind when you think about God?

God is calling, we are answering.

Hey there! It's been a while. Back when I posted my goals for 2015, one of them was to blog more. I really felt like God had things he wanted me to say. So, I did. I blogged about random thoughts the Lord laid on my heart. I also blogged about family things, like Selah's monthly updates and stuff about Ezra. And then I thought people probably weren't interested in that. And I got busy. And I put blogging on the back burner.

Yesterday morning I started thinking that maybe I have more to say, that maybe I should start blogging again. I didn't know what I'd write about and had no specific posts in mind, but with a lot going on in my life right now, I wanted to share with whoever might stumble across my posts. And then, a friend on Instagram randomly asked me yesterday if I was still blogging and said she loved reading my posts and that God definitely speaks through me. I took that as confirmation to continue doing what I had slacked off on but what I felt God tell me to do nine months ago. So here I am! I have so much I'd like to say, so thanks for sticking with me!

It started in August. Marcus and I were serving in youth group and we were watching a video session on teens who had made a big difference in the world. As I watched a young child start a charity based on basketball that helped kids in other countries, the Lord spoke to me. As you may or may not know, I make chalk art on the side. As I sat in youth group surrounded by teenagers that Wednesday night, I felt God telling me to donate all the profits I made from my chalk art. I didn't immediately know what this meant, but the next day as I talked to my husband, God revealed to us a specific organization that He wanted me to donate to. I was a little hesitant at first, thinking, "that extra money has been really nice these past few months!" but I trusted God and made the plunge. I announced on my Chalk by Chalyse page that all profits I received from making and selling chalk art would go to Feed One, which helps hungry kids in other countries. Marcus and I also learned about a 5k walk/run opportunity that would benefit this charity and we were ready to raise money for that, but the event was unfortunately canceled. To date, the donations to Feed One has fed 18 children for a whole month! I think that's incredible. Thanks to all who have ordered!

The next week in youth group, we watched a video in the same series. I was in youth group to help support the teenagers, but these videos were speaking to me! This video was about a young couple who decided to sell everything and move to Haiti to be teachers at a school and act as missionaries. It was so amazing to see them trust God, and how God blessed them in return and used them to spread His love. After the movie, Marcus and I looked at each other and he said (only half-joking), "So where are we moving to?" We wanted to be used by God that way! We were excited at the thought of being on the missions field, helping the poor, feeding the hungry, and sharing the love of Christ. We kept talking about all the possibilities God had for us.

On September 2, I decided to get up early before my family and go on a walk at 5:30 in the morning. (I tried to run but that ended about as well as nailing jello to a tree: fail. 1/4 of a mile in and I felt like my knees and lungs were going to explode, so I walked the rest of the way.) So back to my walk: I decided I was going to pray while I walked. I had a lot of things to talk to God about. I prayed for my family, my friends, my husband and kids, health, finances... all the good stuff. It felt nice to get up and get some fresh air before I started my day with two rambunctious toddlers who are ready to go 100 mph at approximately 6:29 each morning. So the next day, I got up and walked again. I walked even farther and talked to God even more. (I would also like to note that I started a squat and ab challenge at this same time to feel all fit and healthy and such, and during each squat you can bet your booty that I was praying, too! Praying I wouldn't break in half, that is.) And then I walked even farther the next day. This was my favorite part of the day - enjoying the morning fresh air with God. It set the pace for my day and I know how important it is to give my day to God before I give it to all the other things begging for my attention. While I drank my morning coffee, I would read a devotional (I'm working on Out of the Spin Cycle by Jen Hatmaker right now. She's my home girl). I asked people what I could pray for them about and made a list on my phone to reference while I walked, and I noticed that I recognized God's voice much more during the day now that I was spending a devoted time with him each morning. Such an amazing thing. God draws near to those who draw near to Him.

On September 11, my husband took me to see War Room. (If you haven't seen this movie, go see it. Right now.) This is a movie about the power of prayer and how important it is to have a prayer strategy, and a "war room" where you can focus on talking to God. It really inspired me to step up my prayer game even more! Back when Selah was born, I had some really bad anxiety and God really taught me the importance of coming to Him all throughout the day. You can read here about how that was a turning point in my prayer life. These prayer walks combined with this movie were another turning point for me. God always hears our heart and our prayers, but there is more to prayer than just throwing out a, "God help me" when you're stuck in a pickle. God wants more from us. He wants a relationship with us, and how else can you build that relationship other than talking to Him? He wants our first moments of the day, He wants us to come to Him with every worry, doubt, fear, praise... He doesn't want to be our last resort or only there when we need something. After seeing this movie, I started a prayer journal. I wrote down key verses that I want to focus on, reminders from God's word about his unfailing love and faithfulness. I put sticky notes on my bathroom mirror of verses that I need to reflect on. I wrote down prayer requests of my own, names of several friends and their requests, and things I wanted God to help me with in my own life. Soon, I was filling up page after page of things to bring to God. I also created a page for answered prayers so that I will be able to look back on the amazing things God has done. I even made a page for those "God moments" where He works in my life in ways that only He can, those moments where you just know He was looking out for you. At the same time I started my prayer journal, my knees started to bother me. The walking (combined with this dumb 30 day squat challenge I started at the same time... what was I thinking?!) and the cooler morning weather was wearing on my knees. I pushed through the pain for my walks, but the pain was starting to last all day long. I have a history of knee problems and ever since really injuring my knee during my pregnancy with Ezra, my right knee in particular bugs me even more from time to time. 

So I took my "prayer walk" inside to my dining room table in the morning before the sun was up. I found a women's devotional book in my basement and started reading specific verses and pondering on God's word, doing a First 5 devotional on my phone (such a cool app put out by Proverbs 31 Ministries!) and praying out loud from my prayer journal. More needs to pray for would pop into my head so I'd jot them down, and I would sit and wait for God to speak to me. He would put verses in my head, so I'd look them up and write them down. I would start by reading those prayer requests out loud, just as I had written them. More and more requests would come into my head and I felt like I couldn't pray fast enough for all the needs I had on my heart. I would pray in tongues, just sitting in God's presence at my dining room table with my journal and bible and devotional books open (with a cup of coffee of course). 

God knows my heart even when I don't know exactly what to pray, but I also need to pray strategically and with purpose, presenting my requests to Him. As I thought more about how to strengthen my prayers, I thought about the book Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick. Marcus and I read this book with a small group on Wednesday nights back in 2011 when we were newly married with no kids. I loved the book then, but I almost felt like it wasn't for me at that point in my life. This book is about praying for miracles called "Sun Stand Still" prayers, like where Joshua in the Bible prayed for the sun to stand still. I didn't feel like I needed any miracles at that time in my life (2011), except that Marcus and I were praying to get pregnant again after a miscarriage. I decided to pick up the book again the other morning (September 17) and even in the first few pages, the book was speaking to me in a whole new way! I started texting my husband at work different passages and key points that stood out to me, especially at this point in our life. I had the book completely finished before bed that night, with highlighter marks all over the pages. It was cool to see the parts of the book that I underlined back when I read it in 2011, and how differently I interpreted certain verses and points back then. I think God uses His word to speak to us in different ways at different points in life, and that was definitely true here.

This book ramped up my prayer life even MORE! I started writing down even bigger (audacious) prayers in my prayer journal, trusting God to provide. God has been teaching me a lot about prayer. To be honest, prayer is something I've struggled with almost my whole life. My late grandmother was a prayer warrior. If she wasn't sleeping, she was praying. You could always count on her to pray for you, and she witnessed God move in amazing ways in her lifetime. I know the importance of prayer and have always known, but there have been times that I have thought, "if God is so powerful, why do we need to pray? How are prayers powerful? If God is the one who performs miracles, why do we need to ask Him for them? Can't He do them without us asking? Does me asking for a miracle change God's mind about whether or not He will provide a healing? If enough people pray, does that convince God to provide? If I don't pray often enough or long enough, will He choose not to help me? What difference do prayers really make to a God who knows it all and doesn't always answer prayers the way we want anyway?" Now, hear me out. These questions I asked myself were not out of disrespect or lack of trust in God, or disbelief in His promises. I genuinely wanted to know the purpose of prayer. I listened to sermons on prayer, read His word where He talks about why we pray, and got insight from other, wiser, people. Sometimes I felt like I understood and "got it" and then other times I was back to wondering, "why am I praying for this? Will God change His mind if I just pray the right way?" I asked God to give me clear understanding. I really wanted to understand. Through my questioning and doubt, I continued to pray, as an act of obedience if nothing else. I had seen prayer work and did not doubt the power of prayer, but I couldn't help but wonder why prayer was so important.

As I'm learning more and more lately, prayer helps God's children grow closer to Him. God wants us to trust Him, talk to Him, present our requests to Him, and trust Him. Prayer helps me draw near to Him. Prayer brings me into His presence. Prayer gives me peace and comfort. I can literally feel the Lord near me when I choose to set aside time to devote to being in His presence. I can't expect to do things on my own. My prayers shouldn't be lazy and just spit out of my mouth. I need to focus on Him, the One who is worthy of my prayers and praises! There is power just in the name of Jesus. Just saying His name draws me closer to His presence and that's what I do when I don't know what else to say. Like Steven Furtick talks about in his book, I should be building a case before God. "Sun Stand Still prayers aren't about changing God's mind. They're about changing your heart, activating your faith, and developing your confidence in God's Word and character." Prayer builds my faith. It helps me to trust in God in His timing, not mine. I need to approach God boldly. I need to ask for things that are impossible without Him. I need to do my part to make my requests a reality. I need to thank Him for what He has done and give Him the glory. I need to "pray prayers worthy of the God I'm praying to." Furtick says, "...you and I are called not just to have faith but also to regularly activate our faith by asking God for giant outcomes, taking giant steps." If God just did things for me without me asking, how would that build my faith? And if God answered my prayers immediately, I would put my faith in the power of my prayers instead of the power of God. Building faith is so important for building my relationship with God. 

Man, am I glad that God knows what He's doing. I fully believe that He has put all of these situations: the movies in youth group, the prayer walks, seeing the movie War Room, reading Sun Stand Still again, devoting more time to Him and Him alone each morning... all for a reason. At the same time that I'm working on all of those things, and building my faith and prayer life and getting closer to God during it all, God is working in my family and my marriage and my life! Marcus and I are recognizing a huge calling that God has placed on our lives. It's not as easy as God spelling it out in the sky, saying, "Here are the steps you should take at these specific times in this specific order. Now go!" That wouldn't require any faith. But God is revealing it to us, piece by piece, day by day, and we are listening to Him. 

Part of that plan involves adoption, which we have felt as a calling since before Selah was born. We didn't know what that meant at that point in time, but God is making it more clear over time. We are trusting Him in the process, learning to listen to His voice, praying, obeying, acting, praying, reading, and praying some more. We don't know exactly what His plan looks like for us just yet, but things are starting to work together and it's exciting! We both really feel lately like our lives won't be like what we had originally pictured when we got engaged: having 2-4 kids, living in a small town in Wisconsin, Marcus being an accountant and me being a stay at home mom who volunteers for the PTA and makes snacks for tee-ball games, until our kids move out and Marcus eventually retires and we travel the world before we die. That sounds like a comfortable American dream. But, I don't think God wants us to be comfortable. I think He wants to pull us right out of our comfort zone to do amazing, big things for His kingdom. 

I'm learning that if I trust Him, He will lead us to places we never imagined or dreamed of! All for His glory. It's exciting, terrifying, and amazing. We can't for sure say what our lives will look like, but it's beginning to look different than we used to think. A life of missions, sacrifice, giving up our comfortable life, adoption, orphanages, book writing, feeding the hungry, traveling... all of these things seem like possibilities for us now. God has placed things on our hearts that I never thought He would call us to do. We are waiting on God (not easy for this impatient mama) but trusting in Him. We are taking steps to fulfill the plan He has for our lives, using what He has taught us and shown us. I am in awe of the power of God! 

The first step that we really feel God is calling us to do is start the adoption process. Marcus and I both have a heart for international adoption. We aren't sure what country God wants us to adopt from yet, but we may be limited based on laws of countries, my young age, timing, etc. God will reveal His perfect plan in His timing, but as Furtick talks about in Sun Stand Still, we need to "push while we pray", or in other words, act while we wait on God. We have been researching international adoption for 15 months now and finally feel like God is pushing us to take a practical step. We have read so many blogs and articles, researched about several countries and hundreds of laws, watched documentaries on the process, and learned from others' experiences. So, we plan on taking an adoption information class in just a couple weeks to get started, and hopefully get some of our questions answered to get a more clear direction of where to go next! I borrowed some adoption books from the library to pack my brain with as much knowledge about the ins and outs of adoption as I can, in addition to all the online research I have been doing. 

We would also like to take opportunities to serve on missions trips. We feel like missions is something God has as a part of His plan for our lives, and while we don't know exactly what that means long term, we know we can do something now. We would love to spend our 5th wedding anniversary next August helping out on the missions field for a short term trip while we wait on God to reveal His plan regarding missions for the rest of our lives. Maybe God wants us to sell our house and move overseas to live on the missions field, or maybe he wants us to serve here and there when we can. We are so excited for this journey and are fully trusting in God to lead us. This is such a huge test of our faith and is bringing us closer together and closer to Him. I'm so glad that the Lord is with us through this all, and that I don't have to have all the answers. All I have to do is put my life in God's hands and He will do the rest. 

Another thing I'm learning is that the closer you get to God, the more nervous the devil gets. Satan wants to push doubts into my mind: "How are we going to afford adoption with a mortgage and student loans to pay? How are we going to take our two children with us to another country to adopt more children? There's no way Marcus and I could ever be called to the mission field, we're too young and have never been in a ministry position before! I must be making all of this up in my head, God hasn't really called us to anything extraordinary." Satan, get under my feet! You have no place in my heart, soul, or mind. James 4:7 says, "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." So that's what I'm doing. I don't have time to listen to the doubt and fears from the enemy when I'm listening to God's voice. Fear is normal; I'm human. But I need to listen to the One who is in control. I love this line in "Mother to the Motherless" by Mama Zipporah: "When God puts a vision in your heart, you can be certain that Satan will do his best to deter you from your calling." I don't know where the money for adoption will come from, especially if God calls us to adopt siblings which is something else we are praying about. I don't know how we will organize two or more trips oversees with our kids to meet the child(ren) we are going to adopt. I don't know if God wants us to help orphanages on the mission field in the near future. 

But the good thing is, I don't have to have all the answers. God knows, and He wants me to trust Him. So that's what I'll do.