the grass isn't always greener.

Sometimes I think about my birth experience with Ezra and I get jealous when I hear of people who went into labor on their own right around their due date, had no complications, 8 hours of labor and 2 minutes of pushing with their first child. How come my labor & delivery had to be so difficult?

I know people whose husband are teachers so they only work Monday-Friday, are home by 4 pm every day and have summers off completely. When I'm home alone with my son all day waiting for my husband to get home at 7 pm just so he can kiss our son goodnight and then get on his laptop to do more work even though he's been gone since 5:30 am, I'm jealous of those who get to eat dinner with their husbands every night and have him home on weekends.

When I have constant back pain that is 10x worse when I'm pregnant, I wonder why I can't feel "normal" enough to be active like other people I know, or even just do normal activities without feeling like I'm breaking in half. 

There are many times when I think the grass is greener in someone else's lawn. I catch myself wishing things were the way they seemed in other families. But then I realize that maybe the grass isn't greener on the other side. 

Sure, I had a difficult labor and other moms have quick and easy deliveries. But I barely had any morning sickness and other moms threw up every single day of their whole pregnancy.

I may wonder "why me" when I think about our miscarriage, but I know that some other women can't even get pregnant without medical intervention.

I may wish my husband was home more often, but he got a really good job right out of college and it allows me to stay home with our son. Plus, his "busy season" of work only lasts 4 months and then he has regular hours the rest of the year. I often hate that I'm in a lot of pain each day, but I don't have to go to a job out of the home each day. I get to stay home and "take it easy" most of the time. Other moms may have to work to support their families because their husband just got laid off.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Sure, there are things I wish I could change, but in the big picture, I have it pretty good. I love my life and the people in it. I may not always understand why certain things go the way they do, but God does. Maybe my "trials" will teach me something later on down the road. I'm sure there are people out there who wish they could stay home like I do, or who wish they had little morning sickness like I had.

We should stop comparing our grass to other people's grass. It's likely that there will always be things that other families have that I wish I had. But if I focus on my own grass, I'll see that it's a lot greener than I thought.