Yesterday, a friend shared a status on Facebook from a friend of hers. Here it is:
"I wonder what would happen if we took this approach each and every day, hour, moment... "Do NOTHING (not some things not most things - no one thing) out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in HUMILITY consider others BETTER than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but to the interest of OTHERS."
PHIL 2:3-4
If we all practiced this, the world would be a better place. Marriages would be freakin' amazing, the workplace would totally rock, friendships would be deeper and sweeter, leaders would lead out of love and concern (not boss out of authority), the church would thrive, and children would learn from our example and pass it on to their kids. Well, we might not be able to control the world, but it can at least start in our homes."
We all know that God doesn't want us to be selfish. God wants us to be humble. God wants us to put others first. But how often do we really practice this?
Selflessness is something I've been working on for a while now. In all our marriage counseling, couples events & marriage classes we've attended at our church, one major thing we're taught is to serve your spouse. Pastor Todd, who married us, told us to always try to "out serve" our spouse. We're attending a 4 part video series at church right now (Couple Connection) and one thing we learned the first week was that we should make our spouse our top priority. Our spouse should also make us the top priority. The point is, if I am constantly putting my husband first and he is constantly putting me first, it's a never ending cycle of serving your spouse. But, I should also put my spouse first if he isn't putting me first. I should serve my husband even when I don't feel like it, even when I've put him first in every situation for as long as I can remember, and even if I don't think he deserves it.
From the very beginning of my relationship with my husband, I always admired how selfless he was. If someone asked me to describe him in one word, that was it. He rubbed my feet every time I asked. He would get up to get me a drink from the kitchen even if he had just sat down. He always let me pick where we went for our dates. He never complained about any of it. He wasn't bitter. He genuinely loved serving me. We dated for 17 months before we got married and after we were married, I still adored how selfless he was. No one needed to remind him to serve his spouse, he just did it. Always.
Of course, I loved being served. Who doesn't? I wouldn't say that I was a selfish wife, but I was definitely lower on the "selfless scale" than he was. I still made him dinner and scratched his back and did little things for him to make his day. But I wasn't "out serving" him. He always had me beat, and he didn't even have to try.
Shortly after Marcus and I got married, my grandma ("Nan/Nanny" as I called her) was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Less than a year later, she passed away. She was one of my best friends and was a strong woman of God. I always took what she said to heart. When she was near death, I had some alone time with her. One of the things she told me I will never forget: "Don't take Marcus for granted."
My Nan loved Marcus. Every time she was with me, she would ask about him and tell me how blessed I was to have him for a husband. I know that when I was a little girl, she prayed for a Godly husband for me. I'm so thankful that she was able to meet the man of my dreams, get to know him, and attend our wedding. She bragged about Marcus to people. All of her grandkids' spouses became her own grandkids. She knew what a great husband he was to me, and she knew how much he did for me, never expecting anything in return.
So when Nanny told me, "don't take Marcus for granted" I immediately replied, "I won't." I was obviously thankful for my husband and all he did for me, and I never expected him to do things for me... or did I? Those words have stuck in my heart since my Nan spoke them to me almost 2 years ago. The more I learn about selflessness, the more I'm reminded of what she said and what she meant.
There's so much to love about Marcus. He has many Christ-like qualities. He gives and gives and gives with no complaint, no expectations. He would continue to serve me even if I was a jerk to him, even if I didn't make him dinner, even if I never said thank you. Jesus also gives to us when we don't deserve it. He gives us the gift of grace even though we are sinners. He died on the cross for us even though he never sinned. He gave us the gift of life even though we continually fall short.
"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross!" Philippians 2:5-8. Verse 14 goes on to say, "Do EVERYTHING without grumbling or arguing."
Being like Jesus isn't always easy. "Do NOTHING out of selfish ambition." Nothing, really? So when we get in line at the grocery store and a mom with 3 rowdy children gets in line behind us and we can tell she's in a rush, we should let her check out first even though we have a cart only half as full as hers? "Consider others BETTER than yourselves." ALL others? Even those who treat us like crap? "Look not only to your own interests, but to the interests of others." So when someone asks for my help but I would rather do something for myself, I should help them anyway? All without grumbling? That all sounds like a lot of work.
Thankfully, I don't have to do it alone. I deserve nothing. I am a sinner. I'm not always selfless or humble. But God is helping me to be better. Jesus died on the cross for me when I didn't deserve it, so I can at least put others before me, right? Yes, even when they don't necessarily deserve it.
God knew what he was doing when he gave me a husband like Marcus. I don't deserve for my husband to treat me so well. If he was more like me and didn't serve me so much, I probably never would've learned the lesson of selflessness. I easily could've thought, "I'll just serve him as much as he serves me" and thought that was enough. I may have never thought that I needed to better myself when it came to serving my spouse, or anyone for that matter. I often find myself thinking, "I wish I was selfless like my husband." That's probably because he resembles Jesus so much in this way. If Marcus can serve someone like me without complaining, I certainly can serve him, too. I can put my husband first in ALL situations, even if I don't think he deserves it. Even outside of my marriage, I can be selfless, even to those who are selfish. I can help others before I help myself. I can be humble.
It may not always be easy. I may forget, I may mess up, but I'm so thankful I have God's grace to cover me.
No comments:
Post a Comment